To you my little love,
It’s those little things, those little scratch mittens, the baby toys & those incy wincy babygrows. I’m sitting over here feeling all emotional; emotional because you’ve got so big & emotional because I just don’t know what the future holds.
Everyone has a life plan right? That “all in your head life plan” where you set yourself goals, an age where you have dreams of where you would like to be. Well mines been a little jumbled up, & whilst I honestly feel positive about it, at the same time I’m a little apprehensive! I always wanted to be a young mum, have 2 or 3 little ones, married & have a beautiful family home by the age of thirty. It’s silly I know, but when life goes & gives you a different path you can’t help but feel a little failure.
Ive been recently sorting out Daisy’s clothes and toys, and I guess that’s when it’s really hit home. Deciding whether to keep the little things, or to chuck them away. Not knowing my future, & the uncertainty of whether I’ll ever be in that position to give little D that big sister title. I look at her & just know she’d make the best big sister, she’d love them, care for them & hate them all at the same time! She’d be a sister with the biggest heart. So when I’m clutching onto those little things, wondering whether to place them in storage or in the charity bag, I can’t help but feel all these emotions, wondering why my wibbly wobbly old path went so terribly wrong. I mean I try not to dwell on the past, because everything happens for a reason, and I’m a firm believer of this. But when you are in control of a little persons life, it’s really tough. Tough to know that your choices & your “failed life plan” have made this happen.
But all that aside, this is our chosen path little one, and we shall embrace it together. I shall remain positive in the hope that one day you’ll get to share the same bond that I do with my siblings, have those best friends for life, those closer than any. I have so many dreams for you. But you have my promise, that until then, I can be the one you adventure with.
All my love Daisy-Mai,