A Little letter •

“Yes I gave you life, but really you gave me mine.” 

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So here it is baby girl. The final few weeks of living as a family of three in our family home. It still doesn’t seem real, but I guess after a year of co-habiting under the same roof, it’s going to take some getting used to. Mummy & daddy are finally taking the steps to sorting out our future, our future of living apart, & doing our upmost best in bringing you up as a team.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not going to be easy, adjusting to who has you when, dividing up those special moments, and almost you living your life in two different places. But what I do know, is that you are loved. You are loved beyond measure from both sides of your family, and this is only going to better you as a person. You will get quality time with me, & quality time with daddy. And whats even better, those special moments, those Christmases and birthdays; you get two. Two of all of them. & I can tell you from experience, you can’t complain at that!

I do however have so much worry, worry for your little life being turned upside down. The routine as you know it literally being shook about, and well, us having to totally start from the beginning & find our feet as a family of two & two. It’s going to be hard. & even harder for daddy. For him not to be able to see you everyday breaks my heart, just to have that goodnight cuddle, to put his socks on his hands & be the tickle monster or those moments to talk about what you’ve been doing that day. I don’t ever want you to feel like we didn’t try our best, because we did. We tried harder than anything, more than our love could ever give, we put our own feelings and happiness aside to give you what you needed. But baby girl, you will only learn as you get older that sometimes that isn’t enough, and we know that we can offer you so much more apart. I just hope you can understand this and I hope you understand I love daddy for giving me the gift of you. I’m going to miss hearing him reading you stories, the laughter you squeal when he chases you up the stairs, the way you shuffle your little bum up next to him to steal his dinner, and the way you two have more similarities than you’ll ever know. Life is a journey, and I honestly feel I met your daddy, because life wanted us to have you. Our precious little D.

So here we go, onto new adventures. We will move forward with smiles & be proud of everything we’ve achieved. We may feel we’ve failed you, but who cares if we aren’t the typical family. All you need to know is that you have two parents that love you with every inch of their hearts, & don’t you ever ever forget that.

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You are our everything. Our one in a million. Our always.

Mama x

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A little day •

Pumpkin patch. 

So this morning we headed to our local pumpkin patch – now we stumbled across this place last year, & quite frankly I’ve been super excited to go back! All the way there you were chatting about how you wanted a little pumpkin because then it isn’t heavy! So that’s exactly what we found. You simply loved walking the stretch of the patch, stopping & looking at each of the pumpkins, & giggling to yourself as you jumped over them all! I just adore that this year you actually understand what’s going on!

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Once we had picked our pumpkin, we headed into the farm shop to choose some fruit to take home with us! It was a lovely morning, & a beautiful way to create some autumnal memories together!

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A little letter •

To you my little love, 

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It’s those little things, those little scratch mittens, the baby toys & those incy wincy babygrows. I’m sitting over here feeling all emotional; emotional because you’ve got so big & emotional because I just don’t know what the future holds.

Everyone has a life plan right? That “all in your head life plan” where you set yourself goals, an age where you have dreams of where you would like to be. Well mines been a little jumbled up, & whilst I honestly feel positive about it, at the same time I’m a little apprehensive! I always wanted to be a young mum, have 2 or 3 little ones, married & have a beautiful family home by the age of thirty. It’s silly I know, but when life goes & gives you a different path you can’t help but feel a little failure.

Ive been recently sorting out Daisy’s clothes and toys, and I guess that’s when it’s really hit home. Deciding whether to keep the little things, or to chuck them away. Not knowing my future, & the uncertainty of whether I’ll ever be in that position to give little D that big sister title. I look at her & just know she’d make the best big sister, she’d love them, care for them & hate them all at the same time! She’d be a sister with the biggest heart. So when I’m clutching onto those little things, wondering whether to place them in storage or in the charity bag, I can’t help but feel all these emotions, wondering why my wibbly wobbly old path went so terribly wrong. I mean I try not to dwell on the past, because everything happens for a reason, and I’m a firm believer of this. But when you are in control of a little persons life, it’s really tough. Tough to know that your choices & your “failed life plan” have made this happen.

But all that aside, this is our chosen path little one, and we shall embrace it together. I shall remain positive in the hope that one day you’ll get to share the same bond that I do with my siblings, have those best friends for life, those closer than any. I have so many dreams for you. But you have my promise, that until then, I can be the one you adventure with.

All my love Daisy-Mai,
Mama x

A little letter •

Oh little one, you are turning two. 

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To my little D,

I’m sat here just completely overwhelmed by the fact you are going to be two tomorrow. I remember this time back in 2014, I’d just polished off my Mexican with daddy & we were just going about our normal lives getting ready for Aunty Amy’s birthday in the morning. I started to get a few twinges, but since you weren’t due for another 6 days I thought nothing of it! Middle of the night came, & I remember me & daddy sitting on my pregnancy app timing between the god awful cramps I was getting! I laugh about it now because we were saying at the time “if it was real, we’d be so many cm’s by now!” Well yes, it was real, and I went into hospital with you in the early hours of your birthday being 8cm & rushed to the delivery suite!

And wow, here I am 2 years later, just completely & utterly besotted with you. You are becoming such a little character Daisy-Mai, you simply have me in stitches with the things that you do! You are so precise, you are strong wild, you amaze me with the amount you learn, & I just love the amount of love you have to give. You honestly fill everyone’s hearts with joy & happiness, giving them memories & smiles that they shall treasure forever. & not only do you give me them too, it makes me so unbelievably proud to be your mama. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love you, you’ve made me feel a love that I didn’t even know was humanly possible. To watch you grow everyday is just my most favourite thing & you honestly have changed my life for the better. I didn’t ever think someone so little could have such an impact on my life, but you have just completed me, completed a piece of my puzzle that I didn’t even know was missing. You’ve made me stronger, you’ve given me strength and oh little one, you’ve made me a better me. You are my best friend, & to have you on my life’s journey is just simply incredible. You are my positivity baby girl, don’t ever change who you are, you are a beautiful soul & I love you.

Here’s to loving each day of you being two.
Love you always,
Mummy x

A little moment •

Bedtime.

So tonight I thought I’d try & be strong. Ever since your chicken pox you’ve been persistent on sleeping in mummys bed! Not daisys, definitely not daisys! So we go off to bed, and immediately you aren’t happy when you know you are heading to your bedroom. Me & daddy persist with you, & eventually just decide to let you cry it out a little – as you had really gone past the negotiating stage! So we head downstairs. About 10 minutes later it all goes quiet! I think to myself, brilliant. We’ve cracked it! So I creep upstairs so quietly, making sure I don’t make a peep- ONLY to find you in our bed!! You turn around, hysterically laughing, & say “I’m a monkey!”

I have no words. You are just brilliant.

Love you girl.

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A little memory •

Chicken pox.

So my little one, you have caught the chicken pox. & you are a spotty dotty little girl! I’m not going to lie, it’s absolutely breaking my heart seeing you like this, BUT I am so thankful you’ve got it at such a young age. You are doing great, & it amazes me how you can still be so adorably cute even when you are poorly & suffering. You hate to look at them, & even though the sun is shining, we are wearing long sleeves, & trousers to cover them up! We are even having to wear socks to bed! You are adamant. Almost as adamant as not wanting any cream! You say “no!” “Tickles!” And literally run away before I can catch you! So we’ve been having bath after bath with special oats to try & help these spots out! You ask for everyone to kiss them better, you tell us they hurt, you tell us you want them gone and you tell us you are sad. I cannot wait for them to be gone for you, watching you scratch away in your sleep, so restless and helpless makes me feel so sad. But baby girl, they will be gone before you know it – & we can then break free from this quarantine & go continue our adventures!

Love you little one,

mama x

A little Brand Rep •

Baby bear & co. 

So little Daisy, your beautiful room has given us the fantastic opportunity to be a Brand Rep for a lovely mama & her company Baby Bear & Co.

She hand makes beautiful pieces for the modern home, and I couldn’t of been more in love when our first item arrived at the door.

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It was packaged all cute, with a label with your name on! (Completely made me go awwwwwh!)  You helped me unwrap it, to discover your new FELT CATCHER. It was as beautiful as I could of imagined, & the colours were just perfect.

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We hung it above your bed, as there was a big perfect empty space for it, & all you kept asking to do was “touch it!” It just fits perfectly in your bedroom, and I couldn’t be more thankful for Baby bear & co for creating this for us!

You can find the shop here;

https://www.etsy.com/shop/babybearandco

& search Instagram for @baby.bear.and.co

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